Three Steps To Overcoming Resistance
How many times have you set a goal but never got around to doing anything to achieve it? Maybe you started making progress and then something got in the way.
We are not accountable to ourselves like we are to others. In fact, a study found that only 4% percent of people who were considered “nonresolvers” were successful in their goals.
As an executive mentor and trainer, I have seen firsthand that resistance can be the enemy to achieving our goals. Even though we really want to accomplish these things in life, resistance pulls us back to the status quo. Everyone wants to be healthy, eat right, go to the gym and achieve that killer body. We want others to see us as confident, credible and trustworthy. However, we fall short of taking the necessary actions to get there.
We have a better chance of achieving our goals if we have accountability partners. We value the time, energy and attention they commit to helping us, more so than we feel that obligation to ourselves. Because we feel a sense of responsibility and commitment to them, they are more likely to be able to help us reach those goals. When left on our own, excuses overpower our willpower. We fall victim to our resistance, avoiding the hard work needed to meet our goals. When another person is involved, we avoid making excuses because we don’t want to disappoint them or disrespect their commitment to us.
If you’ve hired a personal trainer or have a committed workout buddy, it’s hard to flake out. You don’t want to disappoint those who are trying to help you. In fact, in researching accountability, the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) discovered that people have a 65% chance of reaching a goal if they have an accountability partner.
We all fight resistance, me included. Full disclosure: I despise writing. I’d rather do almost anything than be alone, writing. I schedule it on my calendar and share it with someone on my team to hold me accountable and follow through. That’s when I know follow-through is a must. I go to a coffee shop where others are working, which compels me to write.
Trust me, I know that you are stronger than your resistance. You deserve to be your best every day, to have influence, confidence and credibility, but you need to own it and do the work.
This week, every time you start fighting with your resistance, take on these three action steps immediately:
1. Find The Right Accountability Partner
Identify someone you trust, whose feedback will be honest and thorough. Ideal accountability partners are those you respect and whom you don’t want to disappoint. This person can be trying to accomplish the same goal or just be a support resource, making sure you don’t skip out on the hard work, succumbing to the resistance. Entrepreneurs can find accountability partners at networking events where other like-minded business owners gather to learn from each other. This is a great way to get to know others with the same types of goals and needs.
2. Schedule A Standing Appointment
Schedule a reoccurring appointment, once a week, to meet with your accountability partner. Respect and honor your commitment to this time. This standing appointment should have as much significance to your calendar as a client appointment or meeting with your boss. If you are a business owner partnering with another entrepreneur, you can relate to how limited their valuable time is. This provides you both with more incentive to be fully prepared for and honor the standing appointment.
Schedule the activities you may be resisting — going to the gym, writing that article or whatever it may be. If your child was in a play tonight, it would be on your calendar, and you would show up. If you had a client meeting scheduled for 10 a.m. tomorrow, you would be there without question.
Science has shown us that jotting commitments down on the calendar helps us push past the resistance. The ASTD’s study found that your chance of successfully reaching a goal rises to 95% when you establish an ongoing appointment with your accountability partner.
Throughout the week, prepare by making notes of your progress and efforts. Have a no-excuse attitude. You wouldn’t show up unprepared to a client site. You wouldn’t want to disrespect other business owners or leaders knowing the demands of their time. Don’t treat this appointment any different.
3. Be Honest
Setbacks happen. No one is perfect. We all experience situations that challenge our focus to achieve our goals. When this happens, own it. This is not the time to give in to a one-time setback. Instead, be honest with your accountability partner, and accurately share the situation. Discuss ways to avoid future setbacks and how you’re going to recommit to your goal the next week.
Commit to what your accountability partner can expect from you in the next meeting, and then write it down. This ensures everyone is focused on the next step necessary in reaching your goal.
You can beat your resistance. By utilizing the power of an accountability partner, you become bigger than your excuses. You start achieving your goals by conquering the resistance. Your confidence increases and you show up at your best every day.
This article was written by Stacey Hanke, author of the book “Influence Redefined… Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday®.”
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