All things are created twice. What if the first creation is not yours?
***in honour of Stephen R. Covey***
“…to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.”
Stephen R. Covey. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Some people are happy to go through life NOT setting goals. And yes, it is possible to go through life without setting formal goals, although we DO set informal goals for ourselves all the time.
A definition of a goal is: an outcome towards which effort is directed.
A short while ago I was sitting and brain-storming, and I thought I would go and have some tea when I was done. That was a goal in itself (admittedly not a life-changing one but a goals none the less). It started with a thought and ended with an action which accomplished the goal.
It was a jolly good cup of tea too!
Stephen Covey says that all things are created twice.
My thought – having tea – was the first creation.
Making the cup of tea and drinking it was the second creation.
My first creation involved
· Self-awareness – I am loosing concentration
· Imagination – I could see the steaming cup of tea and feel the warmth moving through my body. I could relish the break from work.
· Conscience – yes I have worked hard this morning and it’s OK to take a break
The first creation encompasses the first two of the 7 Habits for Highly Successful People :
· Habit 1 (Be proactive) which involves personal vision. You are the creator.
· Habit 2 (Begin with the end in mind) which involves personal leadership. You create the vision.
The second creation is the physical manifestation of the first creation. This encompasses
· Habit 3(Put first things first) which involves personal management. You manifest the creation.
When we set goals for ourselves and we work towards their manifestation, we are creating twice.
The first creation is the thought about what you are going to do. The second creation is the doing or the manifestation.
But what if the first creation is not oursand ,yet, we are involved with the second creation?
This happens often.
· You are working for a boss – who tells you what to do (first creation) and then you have to go and do it (second creation). You feel unheard and disempowered.
· Your family believes strongly that a woman should stay home with her kids (first creation) so you happily stop working (second creation).
· Your parents believe strongly that you must get a practical degree (first creation) so you go and study accounting (second creation) but you would much rather be doing drama.
· Your best friend asks you to host a baby shower for a colleague (first creation). You say yes and do it (second creation )even though you feel resentful about having the mess in your house.
Think about the past month. How often has your second creation NOT come from your OWN first creation?
What is important to note here is that it is not always BAD when your second creation does not flow directly from your own first creation.
The way to tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing is to become aware of your feelings. If you feel satisfied/ empowered/ motivated or any other ‘good’ feeling then it’s OK. You’ve embraced the first creation as your own and it ties in with your value system.
If you are experiencing negative feelings about a second creation like unhappiness, resentment, disempowerment, or any other ‘bad’ feelings then it’s NOT OK.
What can you do? Try one or two of these:
1. Know that in these instances you are not honouring yourself or being true to your own values. Becoming more aware of your feelings and what they mean for you will help you to think more carefully about accepting another’s first creation.
2. If you HAVE to accept the first creation – investigate how you can envision your own first creation in a way that supports you in manifesting the other person’s first creation. If your boss tells you to do something, how can this benefit your career? How can you do it in the best way possible? How can you do it in a way that grows your skills and talents? Find a way of re-framing the first creation in a way that works for you.
3. Learn to say NO. The best way to start is not to answer immediately when offered a first creation, but to inform the other that you’ll think about it and get back to them.
4. When someone offers you their first creation notice what is happening in your body. Your body always (even if it’s subtle) knows what will work/ not work for you. Learn to listen to your instincts and honour them by following them.
5. Use your Journal to learn about your habitual way of dealing with first and second creations. Make a note every day of first and second creations that you have been involved in, and your feelings associated with them. Make a note of what your gut was telling you. Think about what you could do differently, and then start taking small steps to change your habits.
Stephen Covey gave us the 7 Habits, and the learning that all things are created twice. He passed away on the 16 July 2012. His wisdom lives on. RIP.
What will you do with this learning today?
Kirsten Long is a coach who takes people on a journey towards Self Mastery. She is passionate about personal transformation and shares her experiences and insights on her blog www.coach4life.co.za/blog . Because she is grateful to Harry and goalsontrack.com for this opportunity, Kirsten is offering you a “Magic Motivation” workbook that’ll guide you further along your personal journey in goal setting. Check out the Magic Motivation Page, drop your email address and you’ll be able to download the work book.